There are many things on my mind,
And I find that most can't be said.
I wish I could say it all,
But I am too afraid:
I fear rejection,
Am scared of shame,
I never know if what I say
Will be considered real -
Or a lie.
I wonder if they'll believe,
The dumb things I've done;
If they'll be afraid,
Of the scary things I've thought.
Or maybe they'll not care,
Like I thought would happen.
I wonder if he'll agree,
With what I have to say;
Or if he'll laugh,
And make me feel stupid.
I keep myself quiet,
Never revealing the truth.
I wonder if they'll listen,
When I have something to say;
Will they pay attention?
Or will they just ignore?
I don't say a word,
Never showing my true self.
My mind fills up with thoughts,
Some scary, some not.
I don't say a word though,
For none can be said.
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When will I be able to look at you,
And not feel so guilty?
Am I always foing to be sneaking glances
From afar because I cannot express how I feel?
How can I tell if you have feelings for me?
I see them sometimes --
But then they disappear.
Have you ever felt anything for me?
Or is everything I thought
I knew a lie?
Will this weight ever be lifted from my shoulders?
Or am I always going to be confused about my feelings towards you?
_mr cutlinary_
